What Can We Do to Cope With Regret?


Make it work for you instead of against you:

Regret, like all
emotions, has a function for survival. It is our brain’s way of telling us to take
another look at our choices; a signal that our actions may be
leading to negative consequences. We can use regret to tell us what
we don’t want to do again and even to highlight what we may want to
do again  (absence of regret).  It is worth noting that
regret is a major reason why addicts get into recovery! The key here
is to focus on what you can control, which is present-oriented or future-oriented,
not past-oriented
. Saying I’m sorry
to those you may have hurt is a good start!


Forgive yourself and move

If you get stuck blaming yourself and regretting
past actions, this could turn into depression and damage
your self-esteemMost people have an
easier time forgiving others than themselves but
orgiving yourself is worth
the effort it takes. You could think about what you would say to a
loved one in the same situation to make them feel better– I Iike
to encourage parents to think of how they might show compassion to
a child who is learning his/her way through life, which is what we
are all doing. 

(3) Try not to
shoulder all the blame:

Notice that there are
circumstances beyond your control that may have contributed to your
choices. Ask yourself what may have made it more difficult to make
good choices, or note that you had limited knowledge at the time.
Perhaps you had to make a quick decision under time pressure or had
multiple stresses going on. Whatever the case, this is intentional
meaning making; you are going to make meaning with or without
conscious effort, make it conscious and try to be fair to yourself
and others involved.   self-help graphic

(4) Reframe the
Situation More Positively

Everybody makes mistakes,
which can offer opportunities to learn important lessons about
yourself, your ways of reacting, values, vulnerabilities, triggers,
and also about other people and how to take better care of
yourself. It is not that your erred that defines you, it is what
you do with it that matters. If you find that you can not make any
positive meaning or that self-forgiveness is not in your
wheelhouse, reach out for help making positive out of negative. If
you are stuck for more than six weeks, a therapist might be able to
help. For Therapy Services, contact me at:
Lavelda Naylor, MA, LMFTA The Key Counseling Services
of SA 601186_310886412365020_358450963_n

4230 Gardendale Suite 502 San Antonio, Tx 78229
Phone: (210) 460-0442
Fax. 210.593.9714

Post References

The mind-body experiment.
Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D.



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