A Bucket Full of Self-esteem


Gak! I love this. Reminds me of Virginia Satir and her pot of self esteem. I have been referring to it a lot lately so of course this caught my eye.


  1. Lavelda Naylor said:

    True. If you were one of the many children whose bucket wasn’t tended to, I am sorry to hear that. Many parents have neglected to improve on the models they themselves had growing up– I usually wonder what those early models looked like. Sometimes an attempt to improve is revealed when the models examined are opposite each other. For instance, a very passive parenting approach may have emerged from a very rigid upbringing. This kind of mirror effect neglects the self esteem of the current children for sure, largely by be focused on the unmet childhood needs of the parents.

    Hope your bucket is full these days 🙂

  2. Kate said:

    Thanks for the recommendation, I definitely will.

  3. Lavelda Naylor said:

    I find that excellent ways to improve self esteem are to catch your kids being good, encourage and praise them, and also coach them through difficult moments– that means don’t take over. This is surprisingly hard to do, LOL. Sometimes we want to save them pain but sometimes we are saving ourselves. But they feel better about themselves when they are noticed for goodness and can overcome difficulties and parents do to if they can just hang back enough to see the growth results.

    Check out Virginia Satir’s books on people making– her ideas about self esteem are still relevant today.

  4. ronchertakovsky said:

    Sadly,some parents don’t instill this

  5. Kate said:

    I love this advice and insight. I too get irritated by parents putting their kids on pedestals as if they can do no wrong but I want to make sure my daughter grows up with healthy self-esteem so she can be confident and happy.

  6. Lavelda Naylor said:

    From one of my FB followers: “It seems to me that many parents confuse building a child’s self-esteem with treating the child as if they can do no wrong. So many parents are trying to protect their child from failing, rather than letting their child build self-esteem by failing and then getting up again. And rather than teaching their child that they are perfect, maybe more parents should teach their children that they are flawed, and how to make better decisions by acknowledging those flaws.”

    Great insight!! Thanks for posting the comment on facebook.
    I agree. In fact, rescuing a child actually lowers their self esteem. See the Parenting Toolbox post, tool #16 for how to empower your kids instead.

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